6 of 31 Questions for Reflection. Today’s question is inspired by reading Dṛg Dṛsya Viveka: An Inquiry Into the Seer and the Seen along with reading a story by Carmen Maria Machado called “Mothers.”
What question arises when I focus on “Mothers” as an object of Vedanta meditation?
Two women create a baby. One gives birth to her then leaves. The other feels abandoned, unworthy, and left alone to raise the baby. She doesn’t know how. Hell, she doesn’t even know the baby’s name. Then she remembers. She remembers the love the mothers shared, the dreams, the plans, the anger, but not what caused the anger. She remembers, oh, that’s right, the child’s name is Mara. The baby cries for hours. The long breaks of silence between scream sessions seem to promise rest, but she never sleeps again. When the mother closes her eyes for a moment, years pass. She loses count of the split seconds between crying and silence. She and the baby occupy a sacred home that is watched over by 1,000 Brides of Christ who are constantly chanting erotic hymns from the Book of Lilith. After totally botching the lullaby, the mother grows confident: yes, she can raise this baby on her own at the same time she realizes the child is grown and she has been a bad mother.
Reading “Mothers,” a Jnana yogi might ask, “If Space and Time do not belong between the heartbreak that has made you stronger and your Mothers’ Love, why judge yourself as Good or Bad? Also, suppose your mother forgot to teach you how to swim, are you going to judge her for that, or avoid swimming?”